There’s a lot of chatter online about “decentring the men” and all that drama, but honestly, even talking about it puts men and the patriarchy in the spotlight. Instead of spending energy trying to push someone else out, why not flip the script and centre you?
Focusing on Them Keeps You Stuck
Ever catch yourself obsessing over why he’s not giving you the love you deserve or scrolling through toxic manosphere content that makes you question why you even bother with men? That’s not decentring the patriarchy—it’s just giving them too much airtime. It’s like binge-watching a bad series: you’re stuck on the same tired plot, instead of starring in your own show!
For example, if you’re constantly checking your DMs, wondering if he’s thinking about you, you’re letting his actions control your vibe. Or maybe you’re stressing the patriarchy’s outdated standards about how you should look or act—newsflash, those rules are ancient history! When you focus on his behaviour or those tired expectations, you’re leaving less room for you to grow and shine.
How to Centre Yourself and Own Your Story
Own Your Narrative
Instead of drowning in an endless sea of ‘femininity content’ and constantly wondering what you can do to make yourself his ‘dream girl’ ask, “What can I do for me?” Whether it’s upgrading your skincare routine, learning something new (knowledge is so sexy), or simply vibing with your inner self, make your journey the main event. Living for yourself and not for what you think the imaginary man you have living inside your brain would want is true freedom!
Invest in Real Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and selfies—it’s about setting boundaries, treating yourself with kindness and prioritising your mental physical and spiritual well-being (So yes, therapy!). When you prioritise you, you naturally push out the noise. Try carving out time for a digital detox, picking up new hobby, or even a little journaling to remind yourself of just how unique, smart and creative you are.
Find Your Girls
Stop fixating on what men are doing or what our patriarchal society expects of you and focus on connecting with women who truly get you. Whether it’s through our Sisterhood Socials or simply hanging out with your girls, surround yourself with people who lift you up. Your tribe should be a reflection of your best self—a space where you can share, laugh, and grow without comparisons or drama.
Final Thoughts
Ladies, instead of ‘decentring the men’ , let’s just simply centre ourselves. Your journey is unique, and when you focus on your own growth and happiness, you create space for genuine connections and a life that truly reflects you. Ditch the outdated narratives and embrace the fact that you are the star of your own show. Your glow-up starts when you let go of the noise and focus on your own magic.
Always remember, you are the author of your own story, the main character of your movie and the centre of your universe! The world quite literally revolves around you.
With love,
Pretty Please xo